A Simple Key For funny sarcastic tweets Unveiled

forty five. Chelsea Hell @Chelsea_Elle Leaving my browser historical past open up just in case any individual On this coffee store tries to steal my notebook Once i'm in the bathroom.

On a night when there was loads of speak about the legacy of Ronald Reagan -- The talk was broadcast from his presidential library in Simi Valley, Calif. -- Sanders cited him too. "Let's vote for Reagan," he tweeted. "Appears a lot better than any of these fellas.

30. Darin Ross @luckyshirt The man at Chipotle couldn't near my burrito. He appeared up at me. I checked out him. I whispered, "It's not your fault." He wept in my arms.

fourteen. Scotty @MarylandMudflap Following time your having hot & heavy with a girl, if she asks When you've got a condom, appear more than both shoulders then whisper "A penis condom?"

lMy parents Virtually missing me as a child, However they did not acquire me considerably more than enough in to the woods. Every one has a summary of challenges and problems. But I'm #1 on Everybody's listing.

We've got revered short term teachers,who were not able to be known as a teacher but we gave them respect see our persistence #TeachersDay

lA favourable Angle may well not address your challenges, but it will eventually annoy more than enough people today to really make it value the effort.

Trump: "I'll deal with Girls." Genuinely? What about respecting the ideal of ladies to control their own bodies? #DebateWithBernie

In no specific get, here are a few other highlights from the 34 tweets Sanders despatched out Wednesday evening:

fifty two. Scare-ann Dolan @EireannDolan "Webster's Dictionary defines 'Susan' as 'Not my genuine Mother and by no means are going to be'..." - Opening line on the toast I'm supplying at my dad's marriage

"When my nails funny sarcastic tweets get actually extensive I love jogging them through a scruffy beard. (Have to get manicure shortly... and wax my face)"

sixty. Tyler Schmall @tylerschmall You don't know how immediately I jumped off the sofa to get this photograph.

One of them wrote, “I don’t treatment what my spouse and children receives me for Father’s Working day providing they don’t squander $seven on a gift bag and tissue paper to put it in,” and An additional 1 tweeted, “8am. 9yo: Dad! Have you ever viewed my iPad?

Man next to me to the airplane awoke and is also wiping the drool off his shirt. Now may be a good time to inform him I drooled throughout his shirt.

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